Culture Shock?

One of the first questions many people asked when they first saw me in the States was, “How are you adjusting? Do you have culture shock?”
I smiled to myself and laughed thinking about how it was almost the opposite.
I was overwhelmed, yes, but not because I was in “culture shock”.  I was in shock of the love and generosity that surrounded my when I was in the United States. So many people concerned not only for my well being, but the well being of the children that I serve here on the Farm.

My first overwhelming experience came my first weekend home at my cousins wedding. It was so wonderful to see my entire family right when I came home. They showered me with love in the form of food, drink, and hugs. (Warm showers as well!) One of the biggest shows of love that I have seen to this date though came at the wedding. The actually ceremony so beautifully celebrated the Sacrament of Marriage, and it was so clear that my cousin Mary and her now husband Justin are truly going to bring the presence of God to this world and to their children. This in itself brought me to tears, as this Sacrament is rarely celebrated here in Honduras. For one reason or another, marriage is almost unheard of here. If men remain in the family they don’t have a wife, but rather a “woman”. Most children here have never known their fathers, and if they do, it may have been better if they hadn’t. The Finca is blessed to know a handful of men who have remained faithful and good to their families- but they are the exception. So, to be able to witness this beautiful Sacrament with a couple that I know will be a wonderful witness of the Holy Family truly brought me to tears.

Of course my cousins wouldn’t allow from relief from those tears for the rest of the night. I had been bragging to my community members about how wonderful my cousin and her fiancé were for some time and how excited I was about being at their wedding. This may have been the understatement of the year.
As soon as I walked in to their reception, I saw this sign: 

 

I am still in awe of the selfless love this couple has. That even in the midst of their wedding day they continue to pour out their love and generosity on others. That they were thinking for and praying for and giving to the children at the Farm of the Child while planning their wedding… I have no words to even describe what that means to me, and to all of us here. It’s so encouraging to see the way that God’s love manifests itself in others.

Many people were expecting me to be in culture shock when I returned due to what some see as a selfish society, but I can honestly say that I saw the opposite. I saw people wanted to give of themselves, their love, their money, and their time. Some people not knowing how, but really truly seeking a way, and truly caring for others in this world less fortunate than themselves.

That’s not to say that I wasn’t overwhelmed by how many iphones exist as well, but I was by far more overwhelmed by the love that exists in those I know, and the potential each person has to make a difference with that love that God has given them.

Surprise!

A ¨normal¨week at the Farm:
Monday I wake up around 5:45, sometimes earlier if I´m willing to brave the cold shower that early. We have a small morning prayer in our house at 5:45, and then head to the chapel for community morning prayer.  Breakfast at 6:30, and I´m running out the door to make it to the school by 7. School lasts until around 1 and we have a teacher meeting until 1:30. At the very latest, food is in my stomach by 2, and I´m taking a quick break/ planning girl scouts for the week because it starts at 3:30. After girl scouts I take the girl back home and walk over to the chapel for English Communion Service at 5. Dinner is served at 6, with a community night following at 7. After community night, I like to just sit in the ¨living room¨ for a little bit to relax. Finally to bed, and Tuesday hits you all over again in the same way. After school on Tuesday, my only activity is Study hour for the kids at 3:30, so there is a little more time to breathe and plan for the coming classes.
On Wednesday, same routine all over again, early morning, school, grumpy children, annoyed teacher, head home, start cooking dinner. So when I checked my phone on Wednesday afternoon after a week already full of activities to a message from my dad saying that by some miracle he would be arriving in Honduras tomorrow (Thursday), my heart was OVERJOYED.

He found out Tuesday night that an adult that had already made the trip with my church was needed, and had offered to be that adult. The only problem: He was headed down to Jultigalpa which was approximately a 9 hour bus ride from where I am. (In the states, probably 2 hours, but it´s dirt roads the whole way) A nine hour bus ride was not going to stop me from seeing the greatest father in the world that I had not seen in 9 months.

SO. Very calmly (After spilling hot oil on myself) I explained to everyone what was going on, and my community VERY graciously helped me get all of my classes and meals and activities covered, AND one of the Sisters said she would travel with me (We can´t travel alone due to safety reasons) because my church just HAPPENS to work with and beside their Motherhouse. Lets just say, God was truly working to provide me the opportunity to spend a week in the country I love, with the people I love, serving in the way that I know how. It was truly more of a blessing than I could have ever even prayed for. God truly knows much better than we ever could that which He has planned for us.
I´m so greatful for the whole Holy Family team that was down here loving on the Honduran people, and SO SO grateful to the whole Hayes family that ochestrated the trip,and made seenig my father possible. They have all been a second family to me and supported me so much in my journey both here and at home, and I´m so grateful that God has placed them in my life.




In other news, I will be heading back to the states in two weeks for my first stateside vacation! It will be SO great to see family again. Please continue to keep everyone here in your prayers!
Stay tuned for some very special annoucements about next year in a blog soon to come.

Love you all, and praying for you all as my brothers and sisters in Christ,
Sara

Vacation

I'm on vacation for the weekend in La Ceiba. Today I woke up, washed my clothes in a laundry machine for the first time in 7 months. (My pants now fit again!) Made breakfast (and lunch) for 1. I watched some reruns of the office, talked to friends and family, and updated myself on whats going on in the world. By the time 12 p.m. hit, I had come to the conclusion that I already miss the Farm, and truly do love the work that I've been called to here.

I was so excited to be in La Ceiba this weekend to take a vacation from being a teacher, a community member, a girl scout leader, and so many other things that we are called to be at the Farm but I come to realize that although life is hard, and messy, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing most of the time- I'm more fulfilled being busy and stressed and lost while doing God's work than I am trying to live any other life. I don't want to make breakfast for 1 when there are other mouths to feed. Sometimes those mouths won't let you know that they appreciate you, but their presence is enough. I don't want to sit around and trying to educate myself about the many world problems, when I know them already, and my time can be used trying to solve them rather than letting them consume me. I don't want to do nothing when I have so clearly been called to do something. Doing nothing leaves me well rested with clothes that fit, but doing something leaves me with so much more: It leaves me with love. It leaves me fulfilled- knowing that this life here means nothing, but we are still called to strive for Heaven on Earth. It leaves me in Unity with Christ.

"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 10: 22

Although the teenagers are still angsty and incredibly difficult to deal with sometimes, I love them with a love that's God's.

And what's an even bigger miracle is that when I'm angsty and difficult to deal with everyday- they too show me that same love.

"We love because He first loved us" 1 John 4:19

Cute story for the month:

Kate a fellow missionary teacher was teaching the 3rd graders about space one of the children asked how the planets stay up there. After giving them the proper answer that they probably didn't understand- one of our children raised his hand and said "That's not it! God uses His hands to hold them up! Each planet is on one of his fingers- and there are two for pluto!"

Feliz Navidad: The Spirit of Giving

Being in a Catholic community (With no access to internet or television) much time is able to be spent preparing for the Christmas Season (Advent). With morning prayer every morning, rosary on Tuesday, Catechesis on Wednesday, and Holy hour on Thursday all focusing on the Spirit of the Season, we had quite a bit of time to delve into what the birth of Christ truly meant. One of the topics most touched on was that of giving. So often we see that Christmas is turned into a season of desire: a season of “me” rather than “we”. As I (and many of my students) are not always auditory learners, my sights began to turn to other examples of what Christmas might truly mean here, and how I might better demonstrate that to the kids. My eyes did not have to look hard before I found one of the most real examples of this idea of giving here on the Farm.

Our children here live in houses according to their age group and gender; for example all of our youngest girls live together. A house composed of seven girls between the ages of 6 and 10. They tend to be a bit wild at times, have quite an attitude, love the color pink, dolls, stickers, oranges and flowers (at this age if one person loves it- they all decide they love it).

They absolutely LOVE receiving gifts; if you were to give them a coloring book and crayons- they would love you forever and say thank you for at least the following month.
Our children have a good home here, with all that they could possibly need- but sometimes they are lacking in “normal things” that children would normally be able to have. As a good example- they were recently prohibited from have balloons because a good chunk of them were using them to make sling shots to fight each other with. (Not that we are against slingshots, but when 40 children are running around with them- bad news bears.) So when they receive things that are all their own and not just to share with the rest of their house- it’s a pretty big deal.
Although their second favorite thing in the world is to receive gifts- it is not their grateful reception, but what comes of this reception that amazes me everyday.
As soon as these girls receive a coloring book- they are painting pictures to give to someone else. As soon as they pick a flower, they are sticking it in the hair of a missionary. Right when they have there freshly picked orange peeled- they begin distributing the pieces to everyone around them. When snacks and candy are given to them- they eat a bit or two and save the rest for a special friend or sibling. All of their dolls are named after people they know and love- and are shared and cared for by all of them. Cards are made daily for whoever will receive them- littered with stickers and colors, and messages reminding you that “Te amo”: I love you!
These little girls have so very little, and yet without realizing it, they give almost all that they have. A true example of how we are called to live as Christians: giving all that we have- not thinking about loss, but rather acting in Love and Joy.

My children

My children. There are 39 of them. I help raise 39 children. They come in all shapes and sizes. The little ones unable to hug you enough, and the older ones acting as if they are too cool for one- so you give them one anyones knowing that they are in desperate need of the love and attention. The majority of my children come from incredibly difficult backgrounds. Anything from neglect to intense abuse. They have amotional scars from their pasts, but these scars could never define them. Some are lost and scarred, needing your full love and attention at all times. Some have no idea where they want to go in this life or how they ended up here, while others know better then you ever will what their goals are and how they will obtain them while keeping their faith and trust in God. I will never know everything that has happened to these children- nor do I think that I want to. But not knowing what has happened to them in the past means that I was not there to celebrate their birthdays with them when no one else would. It means I could never know the amount of scars or hurt or tears they have endured. I was not there with them through the joys of lost tooth, or to be proud that they made the grades to pass on the the next year in school.

What it means is that I know them NOW. In these two year that I am here I have the beauty pleasure of experiencing their joys and pains with them- whether that be adjusting to life now after having what theyve been given in the past, difficulties in school, or the joy of their 9th year Christmas, I will get to know and see and love them for these two years in a way that no other person that came before me or comes after me will be able to. I hurt at the pain of not knowing them before, but realize the beauty in knowing them now, and forever being a part of their lives from this moment on. They have already in these 3 monthes taught me more than I learned in my 3 years of college. Through their words, actions, love and neglect they are transforming ME. I pray that through grace I may be able to reciprocate this action and love them with a love that could only come from Above. I pray that I might be there for them these two years so that everyone that enters their lives after I leave will not have to fret about things that might have happened, but know that these children were loved with a pure love.

I pray that you might pray with me on this journey so that every heart whether it be on the Finca or those simply reading this blog might be opened more fully to the beauty that is happening around us everyday. We are alive, breathing, and creations of God. Everyday in a new creation that we are to strive to live to the fullest.

October and November in Photos

Here is just a quick picture update of things that have been going on around the Farm these past two months:

There was a dance! Two of our children graduated from 6th grade and three graduated from 9th. (In Honduras you are only required to pass 6th grade, so not many children go past this, which is why it is a great privilege for our kids to further their education. All three will be moving on to high school in our Phase two program)

We've already celebrated two (American) holidays here! First: Halloween! I'm not quite sure what I dressed up as because we only had 5 minutes to find a costume. This is my group and the pumpkin we carved.

Next American holiday: Thanksgiving! (I found this to be a hard one to explain here due to the relations that happened with the Pilgrims and Indians shortly following this lovely meal. Still- What a beautiful day to appreciated all that we have been giving in our lives!

To celebrate we had a football (American) game. The teams were the Indians vs. the Pilgrims. The children really enjoyed watching our crazy game that makes very little sense to them.

We also cooked dinner for ourselves and 100 guests. My job was to cook rolls.
Picture this pan times 5. It was a 6 hour ordeal, but everyone was satisfied in the end!

These lovely people were in charge of pies. 15 pies to serve 80 people- and there were leftovers! (I made apple pie pancakes for everyone for breakfast this morning!)

As soon as the visitors were gone, the shoes came off, and the Christmas music turned on! I would call that a successful Thanksgiving in Honduras.

Thank you for all your continued prayer!

A look around

My computer broke the first time I tried to use it here, so I have not been able to upload pictures (And to be honest, I have taken very few. When you are going to live in a place for 2.5 years and nothing quite so out of the ordinary is passing, it can be weird to take around a camera everywhere.)
But I want to take you on a virtual tour of where I live by describing a typical morning. (What a true statement- I LIVE here, and am so aware of this life that God has blessed me with!)

I wake up in the morning for the first time about 4 a.m. to a lovely rooster crowing outside of my "window" (There aren't really window on our house, just bars where a window would be, so that the breeze can blow through). (I am still unsure of why we have so many roosters, and have plans with my fellow missionaries to eat them before our time was through... unfortunately, now that I have posted this, people will know I was involved in this plot.) After returning to sleep, I wake up again at 5:30 a.m. to jump in the shower quickly before 6 a.m. morning prayer (Either laudes or a Communion service with the entire community)

As I walk out of the house the very noise I hear is the crashing of the waves that are about 50 yards away from the front of the house. The only thing that is between our house and the beach is the stove and oven made of mud that we cook lunch and dinner on (Fires take about an hour to heat up before you can start cooking, so plan accordingly.) While walking to the Chapel one encounters first many many trees with birds singing beautiful songs high in the branches, closer to the ground, there are always children running around getting some morning chores done before prayer. This is one of the best times of the day: all is silent expect for the humming of the waves and singing of the birds as the sun has just barely began to creep over the mountains, as your mind has time to wake up and fully appreciate the beauty that is God's creation before rushing into a busy day.

When walking into the Chapel I am really woken up and one or two little hands run up and ask me to sit with them (The youngest girls love sitting with one of the missionaries in the morning)



Midway through morning prayer in the Chapel the sun really begins to rise, and lights up the beautiful stain glass window that sits above the Tabernacle. By the time prayer is over, a full sunrise can be seen above the mountains right as you walk out of the Chapel.

After prayer, everyone heads back to the house for breakfast. All 24 in our community gather around the massive table to share the food that one or two in the community have prepared for us. (Normally in the morning this includes bread that was made the night before and fresh fruit. Delicious!) This is one of the few times that the entire volunteer community is together by themselves (apart from dinner, and on some nights community meetings or community nights) After breakfast each person heads off their own perspective jobs- teachers, social workers, and nurses. For me this means heading over to the middle school which the science teacher to begin either teaching or tutoring young (angsty) minds in math and computers.



Hopefully I will have pictures soon to help you share in this beautiful adventure, but until then, I pray this will suffice! Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, and letters! They have meant so much and have truly given me the strength to continue waking up every morning!