I remember reading this passage over and over again in both college and high school. Anxiety. That was the word that stuck out to me the most. Anxious, stressed, worried, constantly thinking about my tests, about my leadership positions, about my friendships, about everything. God seemed to come almost as a relief from all these things, rather than First in my life. I would read this passage weekly, thinking, “God,... let's get through this week.”
Getting through a week? How terrible. I had made myself so busy that I couldn't even take the time to read the full passage. I was simply reading the part that I felt related to me at the time: being busy, and letting God know it. Yes, sure, I was to do it in prayer with thanksgiving, but I was missing something. I was missing the part where God IS first. He is the reason for living. He is the reason for our education. He is the reason for being a leader. He is the center of our friendships. Or at least... He should be. And His intention will never be to make us anxious. If that is the case, something is wrong. The majority of the times that I can look back and see this anxiety.. what was wrong was that I was taking in all the earthly things I thought represented God such as my Catholic organization on campus (and the 10 related groups), my social justice classes, my service sorority, and even my friendships, and I was shutting God out. Saying, now that I have these physical representations of you, I am no longer in need of YOU.
When in reality- ALL we need is Him. To be silent and hear His voice. After we hear His voice- to listen to His voice. He will guide us in these activities, and with that He will help us to read the passage more closely.
“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7
As I reflect on this passage now, all I see is this phrase: “peace that surpasses all understanding.” What a beautiful phrase. Alone- we know nothing, we can do nothing, we are nothing. Our body in not ourselves, and it is not the actions we do that count but the love inside with which we do them. Peace.... yet a peace we do not understand and do not wish to understand. Giving ourselves entirely, knowing that we will be looked after. God will not leave us when we truly give ourselves to Him.
“The faith given to me in baptism suggests to me surely: by yourself you will do nothing, but if you have God as the center of all your action, then you will reach the goal.”
-Pier Giorgio-
An update on our time here: Many of the missionaries were sick this weekend (5 of 7) and so we postponed our volcano hike to tomorrow! We did have the chance to celebrate three of their birthdays this weekend though with a pinata! There were many children in the park, so we invited them to join us. What a beautiful experience to be able to share in community with the children around us! 2 weeks until we arrive in Honduras!
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